Monday, 7 March 2011

The Adjustment Bureau - Neither Bourne Nor Inception

Billed on the posters as "Bourne Meets Inception", Matt Damon's new release is more "It's  A Wonderful Life" meets "Sleepless In Seattle". With none of the thrills of the Bourne franchise and far inferior special effects to Inception's I feel that the comparison is a weak one dreamed up by the marketing department on the facts that it stars Damon and has a bit of supernatural CGI in it. It's an amiable enough love story about a couple whose romance is thwarted by a mysterious group of men in smart 1950's  suits and trilby hats who do their very best to keep them apart. It seems that Emily Blunt is destined to become a world class dancer due to her ability to do an odd quivery thing with her calves but if young politician Damon gets romantically involved with her she's going to end up in a dead end job. The men in suits do their best to keep the star crossed couple away from each other but you can't change fate. Or can you? On the positive side there are some great shots of New York but the acting is wooden and the film fails to be either thriller or romcom.

We are getting to the state where everyone is afraid of his or her own shadow. I had a letter on Saturday advising me that a questionnaire that I completed prior to my recent hip replacement has probably been lost. It’s not a big deal. OK so it had a few of my personal details on it but none that couldn't have been found by an amateur detective with an internet connection and half an hour to spare. But from the tone of the letter you would have thought that the lost paperwork was so disastrous that the writer was about to leap from a tall building and life was no longer worth living. The groveling, apologetic letter closed with a helpline for me to call if I needed help with my "distress". Bloody hell. They lost a questionnaire; they didn't replace the wrong hip. Now I don't know about you but I think it would take more than a lost health questionnaire to cause me such distress. And by writing in such a serious tone they will probably lead other recipients of the letter to smell the scent of compensation in the air. Better get down to the solicitors, I feel a lost questionnaire induced breakdown coming on.

Great to see Dirk Kuyt score a hat trick against United yesterday. I ended up staying at home as I just couldn't stand the prospect of standing up and putting my new hip under pressure for the whole match - and it was clear from the TV that the Kop stood for the whole game so my decision was the right one. I like Kuyt. He's not the world's greatest footballer but he always gives his all and the amount of work he and his wife do for disadvantaged children sets him apart from the flashy image of the typical Premier League footballer. One thing that I didn't like in the match was that x-rated tackle by Jamie Carragher. How he stayed on the pitch after that is beyond me. It seems that referees are hell bent on creating controversy every week at the moment.

I'm off into the countryside today with my metal detector. I promised my brother that I would go with him as soon as the hip was 100% but he's off to Spain tomorrow for a while so I'll make do with 90%. As always I've spent hours researching potential sites to search using Ordnance Survey maps and the Internet but no doubt when we arrive we'll find that the farmers refuse us permission and it will be back to the same places that we've been for the last twenty years and we'll end up with nothing more than muddy clothes, aching backs and a couple of ring pulls. Ah well, it beats work.

No, Sarah's baby has not arrived early. We went to visit an old employee Nat the other day as she has some baby things to sell. Here is Marion with Nat's youngest daughter Isabella. She's a lovely bright little thing - and the baby's nice too. You can see that Marion is going to be a natural granny. And it won't be long now before she is.

And maybe then we can look forward to times like this. Hilarious.