Being out at work all day left me oblivious to all the phone calls that I have been missing on the home phone. I never dial 1471 as I guess that if anyone has anything important to say they'll leave a message. At home for the first time in ages on Friday I seemed to spend all day answering the thing.
First to call was Becky who sounded about 12 and started by saying "I'm not trying to sell you anything, I'm just checking that everything is ok with your finances". Well that was very nice of Becky to be so concerned about my financial stability and I told her so. I asked her how she thought that she might be able to save me from penury (not in those words) and she said that she could amalgamate all my debts into one easy monthly payment. This would be quite difficult as I don't have any real debts at the moment so I politely declined her offer and wished her a nice day.
Throughout the morning a caller who kept ringing off as I trecked to the receiver had me wondering if this was some cruel practical joke and a neighbour was watching me hobbling to the hall and putting the phone down on me the second I picked up. But I finally caught it to discover that it was a very nice Indian gentleman who wanted to send me a brochure on his fabulous land investment scheme. I told him it sounded wonderful and I would wait for it in eager anticipation.
Finally there was Dan (call me Dan, Daniel or Danny - multiple personality disorder?) from an affiliate of MBNA. Danny had a wonderful scheme where I could get 25% off top restaurants for a small monthly fee. Which top restaurants? He enthusiastically reeled off a long list which included half a dozen branches of Pizza Express, Cafe Rouge and other fine dining establishments. He turned out to be Pompey fan who parked outside Anfield when Portsmouth were playing Everton but couldn't get to watch them play Liverpool as it was on a Tuesday night. I felt that we were becoming real buddies but had to let him down gently by pointing out that most of the places on his list offer similar discounts on their websites and I was very unlikely to be visiting most of them in the near future.
On a serious note, all of these callers were young and I had a tinge of sympathy for them. It must be soul destroying constantly having the phone slammed down on you for a living. It only costs a few seconds of your time to be civil and at least these kids have got a job. So next time you get one of these calls do your best to call them by their name, politely decline what they are offering and wish them a nice day. You'll feel better for it - and so will they.
I'm going into hospital on Monday so I won't be in a position to blog for some time but please keep checking back.
Remember the BBC promo Perfect Day. Here's one on a similar tack from Norwegian telly. Quite a bizarre mix of celebs.